trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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