Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
