I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
