how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
