ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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