I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
