My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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