Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
