they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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