is your mom at the bar?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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