Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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