? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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