So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
