No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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