Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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