the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm sobbing to NWA
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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