D3 body, D1 cock
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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