Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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