i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its not stalking. its research.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize