Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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