It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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