Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
