Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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