Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
