fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
