The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We're too hungover to prance.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize