dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize