idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
