cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
