Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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