i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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