either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Never underestimate the power of titties
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
