mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
