meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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