his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
