Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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