I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
