I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
