make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
