I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
