Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
