Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
