I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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