the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
home. puking in laundry basket.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
