I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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