The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
