i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
