Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize