is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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