Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
