I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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