I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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