He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
