Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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