i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
