i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
