Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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