in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
