This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
