look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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