Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize